I'll Never Forget

Found this while looking through my notes app. From 2025

It's 1:00 in the morning and I have to get up at 6 but...

I'll never forget the late night snacks

The long, loud, quiet and short rides to and from school

Or the bantering in the back of the classrooms

I'll never forget the long and deep conversations at midnight

The laughter and jokes we shared between us

Or the probes and jestering to get on eachothers nerves

I'll never forget the family Bible readings

The good ones and the bad

Or the dinner table conversations about almost everything

I'll never forget the layouts of each house

The holes and scratches in every room 

Or the memories they all hold that we only know

I'll never forget the animals we raised

The sheep, pigs, chickens, dogs, fish, cats, mice, rabbits, birds etc.

Or the driveway to the barn we all treaded so much

I'll never forget the school hallways

The bustling racket, and all the slow walkers 

Or the classroom chattering while the teacher almost blows up

I'll never forget my childhood though I must move on

All the best times off my life with the people and places I love

Or the small priceless memories with each sibling

I miss my childhood where responsibilities were getting dressed and making my bed

When nap time still existed and school was fun

And when we weren't restricted by society and reputation

❤️

Thoughts

 [5:53 PM]

I forgot how to pin a message to this chat so I went to the pins tab at the top of the screen and found a pin from 2020. It was interesting.

[5:53 PM]

Interesting to look at my interests 6 years ago.

[5:53 PM]

Interesting to see how much my life has changed since then.

[5:53 PM]

How my life isn't anything like I would've thought it would be.

[5:54 PM]

As I scrolled, I came across pictures,

[5:54 PM]

links,

[5:54 PM]

little notes I made so I don't forget assignments and tasks.

[5:54 PM]

I followed myself through classes, times of the years, different houses and schools.

[5:55 PM]

Everything kept changing.

[5:55 PM]

What I wanted kept changing.

[5:55 PM]

Things that now seem so unimportant, but were a big deal for me then.

[5:56 PM]

I related to these messages more and more as I got closer to the bottom of the chat.

[5:56 PM]

Things like car listings,

[5:56 PM]

graduation,

[5:56 PM]

college,

[5:56 PM]

scholarships.

[5:56 PM]

And yet, my biggest interest at one point,

[5:56 PM]

was a white board.

[5:57 PM]

And an eraser that would magnetically stick to the board.

[5:57 PM]

I wanted that board to hang on the outside of my bedroom door.

[5:58 PM]

I came across links that I don't even remember being interested in or wanting,

[5:58 PM]

but when I opened them and saw the product.

[5:58 PM]

My screen takes me back 6 years to when I was only 12.

[5:59 PM]

To the times when my favorite thing was my sister’s birthday presents,

[5:59 PM]

and how they really needed a photoshoot in bad lighting on a gringy couch.

[6:00 PM]

Or to a list of pictures of one thing arranged in a different style multiple times.

[6:00 PM]

That was for a class assignment that I hated.

[6:00 PM]

And then I come down to the bottom of the list.

[6:01 PM]

To where I'm taken up with apartments,

[6:01 PM]

work placements for school,

[6:01 PM]

resumes and cover letters,

[6:01 PM]

my most recent school assignments. 

[6:01 PM]

And I start to miss 12 year old me,

[6:02 PM]

so happy just taking a picture of my little sister.

[6:02 PM]

I look through my memories to that time.

[6:02 PM]

And then to me.

[6:02 PM]

Sitting on the couch, on my laptop in a dark room,

[6:02 PM]

crisscross with a screen in front of me,

[6:03 PM]

no little kids being loud around the corner or up the stairs,

[6:03 PM]

nothing strewn all over the floors.

[6:03 PM]

Everything is clean,

[6:03 PM]

quiet,

[6:03 PM]

peaceful.

[6:03 PM]

And yet I'm still missing the chaotic life back home.

[6:03 PM]

Even when, when I am there I feel trapped.

[6:04 PM]

Insignificant.

[6:04 PM]

I realize now,

[6:04 PM]

that what I'm missing the most isn't the chaos.

[6:04 PM]

But the happy times and good memories;

[6:04 PM]

the eruptious laughter at the dinner table,

[6:05 PM]

walking down memory lane with my siblings,

[6:05 PM]

being idiots with my brothers,

[6:05 PM]

and having late night conversations and hang outs in my older sister’s room.

[6:05 PM]

I'm not missing the chaos.

[6:05 PM]

I'm missing the happiness and love I had when I was there.

[6:08 PM]

Just a thought…

A Special Day

Dear Mama,

Today is your birthday, and I wanted to give you this poem  to tell you I love you. I feel like this only gives you a pinch to show how much you care and love for me because you are working constantly and you are always making sure I am: fed, clean and so much more that if I list them all it will be 10:00 at night.

Motherly Love

You love me when it's cold inside,

You love me when it's warm,

You care for me all day and night, 

And treat me with your love.

You help me when I need you most,

You're always there for me,

You stick around to help me out,

And teach me lovely things.

But as we've grown from bright young ones

To tall grown teenagers,

We realize how you've cared for us,

With all your mother love.

So many others may forget 

How much you mean to me.

But why would one who's loved by you
Forget your wondrous care?

And so I wanted you to know

How much you mean to us 

And that I'll never once forget 

How much you care for me.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness

Proverbs 31:16-27

You are such a wonderful person Mama, and I love you very much. This poem I wrote came to me two nights ago and I didn't want to forget it. I was thinking about your birthday and how it has come so fast and soon when the words just popped into my head. I wrote them down as fast as I could hoping not to forget a thing, but when I did forget, the words came right back and never went away until I wrote them down. And now when I think about it I feel the Lord was telling me to write it. I had a big lump in my throat and I couldn't go to sleep. I love you very much and wish you a very happy birthday. I will try to make it as special as I can. I love you! 

~Emma

PS. One day I wish to work as hard as you do, be like you and love like you.